twiddly and twitchy

The past two weeks of November came and went without so much a fracas. And it went so fast I could barely remember what I did and what happened in the past seventeen days. Well, I remember snippets of ho hum work, chores, pineapple upside down cake, but- I remember most is how dreary the weather gradually has become. Cold, clammy, gusty, rainy. Perhaps, I am just kind of… mad at the weather.

Somehow, days feel like beat and totally slumberous. Am I in dullsville? Ever felt like you’re stuck with all the madness in the world and you can’t take another minute of it? Well, I am not exactly in that avenue but I just felt like I am taking it one hour at a time. If I’m anxious about a task or a buzz I abhor at 2:00pm, I always tell myself I’m unassailable for a few hours until then. At least. It’s silly, but it works somehow.

The comfort of worrying too much is the desire to look forward to something innocuous: a nice meal you’re gonna prepare, a relaxed time on the couch watching late-night TV, some funny stuffs online, a tub of ice cream, and quite ironically- another day. I’m always chirpy at the end of each day, because it means: I got through another day (be it rough, boring, happy or an emotional day) without a broken spirit. It’s enough to reconcile me with the reality.

I guess the whole antsy-feeling-over-a-seemingly-worthless-and-cutthroat-day-and-everyday is not so bad. Whatever it is that I’m feeling so antsy about, I can always blame it on the weather. It will always get better. Tomorrow.